As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
