Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
40s are totally the cure
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
