haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
