i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
