i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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