It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
i've created a new STD.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
