I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
