Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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