R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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