I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
