it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
