i just had sex bonerless
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Randomize
