Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
