we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
