I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
