You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
They took my balls.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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