i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
