with your own penis?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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