Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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