Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
