Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
nut hugger
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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