i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
