erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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