the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
love makes seman taste better
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
