the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The best revenge is premature balding
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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