All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
