i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
