her vagine was all disorganized.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
