Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
