Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
