Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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