If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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