Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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