I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
