so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
