TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Couch. On fire.
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