found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
