we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
