i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
