oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
