people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
only if we run a train.
done.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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