The maid of honor just puked.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
