He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
