i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
