Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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