he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
