We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
