hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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