So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
