got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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